


shadow plays

by Lise



Series: Remember This Cold [44]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (no not marriage the other one), I think I've decided I'm going to roll with this being verse-canon, Loki Redemption, M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), but in this verse not the canon one, is a vexing question indeed, talking about The Big Question
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-20
Updated: 2016-01-20
Packaged: 2018-05-15 05:20:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5772814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lise/pseuds/Lise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The continued fallout of the Ultron Incident. But not in a bad way. Maybe. (Or: Steve sees a chance. Loki is less sure.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	shadow plays

**Author's Note:**

  * For [100indecisions](https://archiveofourown.org/users/100indecisions/gifts).



> So in the comments of "(hang on) where the water is rising" 100indecisions wrote a comment asking if this would change my thoughts on the possibility of Loki ever being openly redeemed - of Loki not needing to hide anymore. Which I have been...pretty consistently saying that I can't see it working for a while now, and I'm still not at all sure I can see it working. But the question got me thinking, a little, and given that at least one person did verbally recognize Loki within the fic...well. We all know how fast news spreads on social media. 
> 
> I have written about why I think it would be particularly difficult to actually get Loki to have a place on Earth openly (as opposed to as a secret) here on my Tumblr.

Steve came home early, an odd look on his face. “There’s something you need to see,” he said. Loki closed his book, marking his place with a finger, and raised his eyebrows. 

“Oh?” Steve held out the folded sheet he was holding. Loki unfolded it and smoothed it out. His eyes caught first on the image at the top of the page. It was blurry and indistinct, but nonetheless he knew what it was. 

A photograph of him. Of his back, more precisely, his head turned to the side, perhaps. Loki recognized the backdrop: Sokovia.

He scanned the text quickly, tensing.

> **“LOKI”, INSTIGATOR OF NEW YORK ATTACK, SPOTTED IN SOKOVIA**
> 
> Ever since the events of May 2012, “Loki sightings” have been conspiracy theorists’ stock in trade, most entirely unsubstantiated. However, beginning with one blurry cameraphone photo posted during the incident in Sokovia by a Twitter user known as @sylvie123, photographic evidence as well as eyewitness accounts have begun to emerge that suggest the being known as “Loki” may have been somehow involved. 

Loki’s breath caught in his throat and he looked at Steve, heart starting to thud. He’d been careless. Hadn’t disguised himself, and there had been too many eyes to trick them all. The girl had recognized him, spoken his name - of _course_ there would have been others. 

“Keep going,” Steve said. He didn’t look panicked as Loki would have expected. He forced his eyes back down to keep reading. There was a brief paragraph describing the events of his invasion, largely accurate though the details were hazy. Then:

> The most interesting thing about these reports is that they appear to agree that Loki was working in concert with the superhero team, the Avengers. While the team has recently come under fire for their handling of the crises in Wakanda and Sokovia-

“Come under fire?” Loki asked, sharply. Steve shook his head.

“Don’t worry about it. Keep reading.”

> -they are generally seen as protectors - bona fide heroes all too rare in this day and age. Why would they work with a being whose defeat they effected?
> 
> The answer may be found in reading some of the eyewitness statements, visible on Twitter under the hashtag #LokiinSokovia. “I thought I was going to die,” one user claims. “He saved my life.”
> 
> Response to the growing volume of reports has been mixed. While some experts cite mass hysteria and doubt that Loki was present at all, others are calling for an explanation. “If Loki is on Earth,” Senator Kelly stated on Saturday, “why has he not stood trial? Have the Avengers been keeping information from us? An investigation is overdue into the reckless and dangerous behavior of these individuals claiming to be heroes.” 

Loki felt his temper flare. “He _dares_ insult those who protect him from threats he can scarce comprehend-”

“It’s just talk,” Steve said quickly. “There’s always someone angry at us.”

Loki scowled, but lowered his eyes back to the page and finished the last few paragraphs.

> Tony Stark, otherwise known as “Iron Man”, responded to questions about the hashtag over the phone. “Oh, yeah,” he said. “We’ve been keeping Loki stashed in my tower, just in case we needed a supervillain at some point. Seemed like a good idea. Want me to call him to give you an interview?” 
> 
> Not all responses have been negative, however. Some bloggers have suggested that if Loki was, indeed, behaving heroically, any movement to indict him for past crimes may be counterproductive - a motion unlikely to be popular in cities like New York and Stuttgart. 
> 
> In the meantime, reportings of more “Loki sightings”, from Russia to Brazil, have multiplied.

Loki looked up at Steve, who shifted. His stomach was churning. “This is dangerous,” he said. “Stark deflected this time, but sooner or later others will come looking. And not merely reporters. If your government fears any truth in these rumors-”

“Loki,” Steve said quietly. “Did you read the article?” 

“Of course I did,” Loki said. “I was _recognized._ Our safety has been in secrecy. If your realm begins to believe that I am not gone - worse, that you have betrayed them by harboring me…” He felt sick, his heart pounding too fast. 

“I looked through the - uh - the hashtag,” Steve said, his hands resting on Loki’s shoulders, squeezing lightly. “Sure, there were some people yelling about - but a lot of them were just…people talking about seeing you save someone. Save _them._ A few of them were wondering if there’d been some kind of mistake before, that it wasn’t really you who attacked us - there weren’t that many photos, and SHIELD suppressed most of them.”

Loki shook his head. His chest ached. “It _was_ me,” he said, almost disgusted. “And - what does it matter what the common folk think? You know-”

“It does matter,” Steve interrupted. “It matters a lot. Public opinion is kind of a big deal. You know that.” He gave Loki a gentle shake. “This…this could be good, Loki. If we were careful…gradually introduced you to people, showed them you’d changed…you might be able to stop hiding.”

_I haven’t changed,_ Loki thought, panic fluttering against his ribs like a trapped bird. _I am what I always was._ “You want me to trick them?” He said harshly. Steve shook his head.

“What would be the trick? You’re not - that person anymore. You haven’t been for a long time.” Loki could almost hear the gears in Steve’s head whirring. “And if we leaked word that you weren’t really in command, that someone else was behind the attack and you were coerced…”

Loki pulled away from Steve’s hands. “I wasn’t,” he said harshly. Steve frowned.

“I know you don’t like to think-”

“I was not,” Loki repeated, louder. “I chose. I _offered_ him your realm because I thought I could gain a little power and use it to acquire more. I agreed to deliver the Tesseract in exchange for Midgard and I planned to betray him if possible and keep both for myself. I _chose.”_

Steve’s expression spasmed. “Loki - you were _tortured._ From what you’ve said - this Titan, he knew exactly how to manipulate you. It’s _classic:_ alternate pain with kindness. Make your captive see you as a refuge. Make it seem like their idea when they do exactly what you want. It’s not-”

“Don’t say it,” Loki said harshly. “Do _not_ say it was not my fault.”

“Do you _want_ to keep hiding?” Steve burst out. “Do you want to go on - letting everyone think of you as some kind of-” He cut off before saying it, but Loki knew what the word was. _Monster._

“It is the truth.”

“ _No it is not.”_ Anger vibrated in Steve’s voice, the kind of glorious anger that made Loki’s blood sing, but he could not feel that now. His heart was pounding so hard he thought it might burst, his vision seeming to gray at the edges. “It _isn’t_ true. What you did doesn’t define what you are. And even if it did - doesn’t what you’re doing _now_ matter more?” Loki could hear the thread of desperation in Steve’s voice. 

He wanted this, Loki realized. Wanted to believe that Loki could…be redeemed. That he could stand in the sun with his head held high and be seen as a _hero._

Loki knew otherwise.

“There is a limit,” he said, after a long silence, “to what they will accept. Rumors, blurry photographs…that is one thing. Were I to stand before them in the flesh…they would be baying for my blood.”

“Maybe not,” Steve said. His voice was stubborn, but there was a note of defeat in it that made Loki feel a pang. “Maybe you’re wrong. People are better than you think they are. More forgiving. Remember what happened on Asgard?” 

“I did not attack Asgard,” Loki said. His voice sounded hollow. “I did not kill Asgard’s people.” Steve’s shoulders slumped. Loki looked away. “I am sorry.”

“Just…” Steve sighed. “It’s all right. Just think about it. Maybe you don’t need to hide forever.”

_I am a creature of the shadows, Captain,_ Loki though. _Where else could I survive?_


End file.
